What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone. It happens in all types of relationship, regardless of race, ethnic or religious group, class, disability, sexuality, lifestyle, nationality or age.

Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, domestic abuse is defined as - abusive behaviour by a person towards another who is personally connected to them, where both parties are aged 16 years or over. Abusive behaviour includes physical or sexual abuse, violent or threatening behaviour, controlling or coercive behaviour, economic abuse or psychological or emotional abuse. Abuse may be a single incident or a course of conduct. A perpetrator’s behaviour can be considered abusive towards a victim even when directed at another person, such as the victim’s child.

If your relationship leaves you feeling scared, intimidated or controlled, you may be in an abusive relationship. There is no excuse for abuse - it’s a crime. There are people to talk to and many organisations that can help and support you make changes, move on and take control of your life.

Domestic abuse is a result of an abuser’s desire to gain control and power. They may use a range of different tactics - physical, emotional, psychological, sexual or financial - to achieve this.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone, and you are not to blame.

Psychological and emotional abuse

This is also known as coercive control. This type of abuse can be difficult to spot but it could include making you question your worth, controlling contact with friends and family or making you feel like you couldn’t cope on your own. Find out more about controlling or coercive behaviours.

Sexual abuse

Any situation in which an individual is forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse.

Online abuse

Online or digital abuse often happen alongside other forms of domestic abuse. This could include: - online stalking - revenge porn - cyberbullying - online harassment - grooming - AI-generated explicit images

Economic abuse

Economic abuse could include: - controlling access to money - asking you to account for every penny spent - stopping you getting a job or - spending the money allocated for other things

Violence or threatening behaviour

Physically harming you can range from a slap to a black eye, bruises to a broken bone. In the most extreme cases it can result in death.

Physical abuse doesn’t always leave visible marks or scars and over time the violence usually gets worse. Threatening behaviour can include the threat of violence to you or other family members, destroying personal items or threats to remove your children.

If you are a victim of domestic abuse or know someone who is, you can learn how to keep yourself safe, find a list of the support organisations available in your area or report to the police.

You are not to blame for what is happening and you are not alone.